The Self-Portrait Project #2

I started this portrait project in an attempt to desperately claw my way out of the empty well of confidence, and I found myself in the end pulling small buckets of water from that once empty well. Not only did this project get me motivated to create art that I enjoyed making again, it reminded me that I CAN create the art that I enjoyed. Being in an artist/writers block is devastating for someone who is already pushing against a storm with liquid doubt up to the waist.

The next theme amongst the portraits I noticed was my reaction to each medium/material. The more I used bright colors, the happier I became and more encouraged I was to continue creating. When I tried to make a serious, realistic piece I just got frustrated and ended up making angry portraits with my frustration at not having the perfection I desire.

In frustration:





Slowly getting out of anger:

Then just fun things:

This helped me out a lot! No I didn't produce the absolute best work, but I created work that led me back on the path I was on before the artist block.

The Self-Portrait Project

For a good part of January I had completed a little series called "The Self-Portrait Project" which included around 20 self-portraits made in different materials. When I first went into the project I was only doing it to get myself motivated, to get out of the rut that I plummeted into and desperately trying to claw my way out. Then I started noticing little consistencies and themes unintended, I guess subconscious consistencies and themes.

This was the first self-portrait, cold out in my studio shed, tired from working all day in aggravating situations, frustrated because I was in an artistic rut and fed up with my self doubt. I see all these things in this mixed media painting on canvas. The blue freezing me, sticking my tired eyes in place with my skull peeking through the warm color of skin.  

Near the end I was drawing myself like a six year old would, creating a mixed media, colored pencil and digital, piece of me riding a dinosaur. This project was therapeutic! I don't see this miserable being anymore, I see one riding a dinosaur in happy colors that maybe my kid self would have drawn. I subconsciously took out my anger and melancholic mood into the person I was drawing, me.

This was one theme within the self-portraits I found and will perhaps do again in the future.