Second Illustration COMPLETE (I think)

I truly believe that my process could be a lot easier if I tried. This next piece took about a dozen sketches and re draws and tears (haha) to make. 

The biggest problem that I've had for a long time is tone/shading and clarity. Perhaps I'm an abstract artist at heart, but rarely is abstraction acceptable in illustration...especially if that abstraction was meant to be a hand or something or other important detail that needs clarification.  To fix this issue, I began to determine tone in photoshop by scanning my drawing in (after sketching out the darks and lights in thumbnails @_@) and just going through with photoshop paint. After that, to help with color (which sometimes I'll get too many layers and forget that this is acrylic and NOT oil paints) I just plop in the color to determine where things are placed, and gain more clarification.

Then comes the re-draw yay! I figure out what I enjoyed most of about the sketch, then draw the final. The acrylic layer is then painted on for texture purposes (and for patience purposes as working with acrylics can be annoying sometimes, but I suppose thats what happens when working with a plastic paint, not nearly as flexible as oils or digital) as I like painted textures with a strong color and found the combo to be fairly interesting. Prints way better too! And quicker! Joy.

In the middle of making this, I realized in my sketch I didn't see the gutter problem with the dandelion and the first "stitch" sooooooo... had to fix it. 

I did.

And here it is.

Perhaps I'll add the words on here later tonight, but this is the page spread! Another illustration complete for the dummy. I'll be making this one next!

AH I FAILED!

SO I failed the April 50,000 word challenge.

That's because I finished my Stitching Butterflies book dummy! YAY!

I'm still working on Nightlander like usual. It'll just be a long term project like I thought it was going to be. If you're interested just go here to see my progress, slow as it is. I supposed you can't write a YA novel/comic in a month (or at least I can't.)

After making my book dummy, I began a final illustration to go along with the dummy. This process was similar to my others: lots of  sketches, final sketch, acrylic painting, digital painting over acrylic, and I'll do a final acrylic after the digital. Here's the process:

Took me a week of frustration, but I got it eventually. Next final I'll do...

NaNoWriMo in April? Sure

I'm doing it again...writing 50,000 words in a month.

Well I hope so anyway.

This time the goal is for NightLander. I completed Lil' Red but I think that was just a novel test run to see if I could stay dedicated (I did! I surprised myself!) Anyway, I REALLY need to get this story out for my own personal reasons. Also, if I write it out I'll have a more stable outline for the story rather than just random scenes that pop up in my head as I draw pieces of comic.

Camp NaNoWriMo  is just like the November one except its for people that want to do the writing trauma all over again! (yaaaay)

Will I succeed?

Can I keep up with the tumblr?

Another Video~

Another video that had a couple helpful reminders. I graduated from college almost three years ago. My artwork has definitely grown but the only commissions I tend to get are portraits or non-illustration work. I don't get them often either (though maybe more often now than I ever had) so I'm in a trapped state of not having enough time to do these kinds of things because of...what? My full time job? My long distance relationship? My finances? My anxiety? All these things are excuses. I just need to do the thing. 

I'm Finished! Woo hooo!

I'm finally finished with this piece! (maybe...for now I am though!) Is it a portfolio piece? I don't know but I'll probably add it with the other Little Red Riding Hood piece if I do. ^_^

Tumblr Sketchbook Comic

Update on tumblr sketchbook comic, NightLander.

Been working on this project for about two weeks now. Slow moving, but as I scribble down shapes  for the comic and write notes, scenarios seem to pop out of nowhere and I come across some interesting compositions I could potentially use later.

I was also apart of The Rose Petal Review, a website that features the creative works of teens and young adults going through different types of mental illness.

My goal for this project is to focus on the peak moments of someone going through an anxiety attack or depression. It's a tough goal to accomplish especially when showing those who do not have any kind of chemical imbalance, who may not completely understand all that is involved in a panic attack or days, weeks, months, years, of depression.

I'm not quite sure how this comic will turn out, or if it will become the YA novel that I wanted it to be, but I'll keep up the quick pace of jotting down ideas and of course, drawing them over and over again. 

Working on new long term project(s)!

To keep up with inspiration, I go to my usual sources; awesome music, walking, Mike Mignola, Art Spiegelman, David Small, a new artist I'm interested in, Craig Thompson, and a number of different artists and writers and musicians that are pretty much too many to list right now. Except this time to keep up with the inspiration I've started writing anything I thought of on sticky notes, scrap paper, paper towels, my little working station glass desk in the lab, anything, just to get an idea that I probably would've forgot otherwise and would've been frustrated with myself for it.

Wait, back up, rewind, before the sticky notes there has been this grand idea for a story that had changed from a small story to a poem, PB, middle grade, to aYA that I've been planning for some years (like four or so) however, I've never actually gotten past the starting point with each version, I just finished the little, crappy poem one day from the idea that I had four years ago out of nowhere and wanted to make something out of it.

I just never really got started on that project...because I didn't think it was any good.

It's this failure and this awesome article that had me thinking that I wasn't going to get anywhere by over thinking and this project was never going to get better if I just kept thinking it was bad, so I should just write it, draw it, scream it out recording myself (oh, I haven't done that yet, maybe I should) without thinking.

So here it is! My tumblr blog is slowly filling up with this story I call NightLander and it is the pieces of a comic, that I'm building together for a story (or maybe it is just a story...)This little blog of random scribbles is the farthest I've gotten with the NightLander concept, so I hoping to see it to the end!

On another note... I've been working on illustrations that might be good in a portfolio. This is one of them, slow work but pretty steady :) It has potential...maybe haha.

The Self-Portrait Project #2

I started this portrait project in an attempt to desperately claw my way out of the empty well of confidence, and I found myself in the end pulling small buckets of water from that once empty well. Not only did this project get me motivated to create art that I enjoyed making again, it reminded me that I CAN create the art that I enjoyed. Being in an artist/writers block is devastating for someone who is already pushing against a storm with liquid doubt up to the waist.

The next theme amongst the portraits I noticed was my reaction to each medium/material. The more I used bright colors, the happier I became and more encouraged I was to continue creating. When I tried to make a serious, realistic piece I just got frustrated and ended up making angry portraits with my frustration at not having the perfection I desire.

In frustration:





Slowly getting out of anger:

Then just fun things:

This helped me out a lot! No I didn't produce the absolute best work, but I created work that led me back on the path I was on before the artist block.

The Self-Portrait Project

For a good part of January I had completed a little series called "The Self-Portrait Project" which included around 20 self-portraits made in different materials. When I first went into the project I was only doing it to get myself motivated, to get out of the rut that I plummeted into and desperately trying to claw my way out. Then I started noticing little consistencies and themes unintended, I guess subconscious consistencies and themes.

This was the first self-portrait, cold out in my studio shed, tired from working all day in aggravating situations, frustrated because I was in an artistic rut and fed up with my self doubt. I see all these things in this mixed media painting on canvas. The blue freezing me, sticking my tired eyes in place with my skull peeking through the warm color of skin.  

Near the end I was drawing myself like a six year old would, creating a mixed media, colored pencil and digital, piece of me riding a dinosaur. This project was therapeutic! I don't see this miserable being anymore, I see one riding a dinosaur in happy colors that maybe my kid self would have drawn. I subconsciously took out my anger and melancholic mood into the person I was drawing, me.

This was one theme within the self-portraits I found and will perhaps do again in the future. 

AAHHHH Trucks

 Finished the truck commission! I had fun with these, they'll be my background for awhile XD

Four Trucks for Christmas~

Another commission! A simple one, but still fun~ Four sketches of different trucks for a 6 year old boy who loves trucks for Christmas. I will post the finals on here~

Commission for My Boss!

Just a graphite drawing. Will I make this into a color final? Nah, I think I'll leave it the way it is. I'll have enough forest pieces anyway haha.

Building a Portfolio? Uh Oh

Out of my entire website, I found only three pieces that has done anything to get into my actual portfolio. I guess they're right in saying it takes a lot of failure to gain any kind of success (whoever they are ha.)

My illustration work has disappointed me.

But! When I look and compare the work I was doing just a year ago, a lot has changed. I have gotten more accurate and I pay more attention to detail. I had thought, and this is a silly thought, that illustration was supposed to be "made up" or something that my mind has poured out on a surface without any reference. Well, it's not too surprising that I thought this. Going to college with many different artists, the fine artists and the illustrators were almost at war with each other in the ideas for what is a true art piece. As a fine artist and oil painter first, I thought that if I used reference the image would be too realistic and traditional to be an illustration.

Blah no!

Again, silly thought and perhaps thinking this way has made my art suffer. Any readers out there, if you have a stable idea of what art is rethink it! You might find a whole new reality.

To keep myself from spiraling down into a dark abyss of the stereotypical, almost archetypal, artist defeated depression, I started looking around for simple explanations for building a portfolio. I found this blog post helpfully breaking down what my portfolio needed to accomplish. I've read this one before however it's still helpful. Both of these illustrators seem to have their stuff together, and if there's any way of learning how to put a portfolio together and be professional, looking at successful illustrator portfolios is the best.

In the end, out of the 23 pieces on my website, and many others not on my website, these three are the only ones that are close to portfolio worthy. That's okay. If I can make three already then I can make three more.

Finished challenges for the Month! (almost) WOOOOO

I'm done!!!! Also, I fixed this piece. XD The hand was messed up and I was looking at it for hours and realized it in time to change my submission lol. Oh WELL.

This month has been very difficult but I accomplished almost everything...it's just the last few picture book ideas... I can do it in two hours, yeah? YES! Pullin' out the mentor books! Also spamming the blog posts on the SCBWI pages I follow. This one in particular gave me an idea. 

And for the last update, I completed the NaNoWriMo challenge with blood, sweat, tears, and lots of coffee. 

Characters are Useful to a Story Right?

Still behind! Who else is?

I'm also very behind on PiBoIdMo, but I believe I've met a breakthrough in my story and as I'm figuring out characters for Lil' Red, I'm also learning more about the characters in my PB manuscripts. Characters are the main focus for PB and Middle Grade manuscripts as the reader MUST connect with the characters to enjoy or even pay attention to what the plot is or whatever the moral is for the story. As a reader I have to connect with the characters or else even I won't pay attention to the plot, unless of course the author's writing is so fascinating that I forget about characters (usually doesn't happen.)

Speaking of characters, every character has a basic archetype. According to Carol Jung, who created the archetype concept and was amongst the other early 1900's psychologists who dug into the human psyche with dream interpretations, everyone has a handful of basic archetypes that they've fallen into. Same goes with characters in a story. However, not everyone is a cookie cutout of stereotype, even Jung didn't think this way as he says within his writings that the archetypal list is a never-ending list of personalty possibilities. This little article got me thinking of the archetypes of my characters, specifically the idea that it's not what the character does, but why the character does what they do.

No, No, No Negative Nancy

I've reached passed 15,000 words and I'm so behind in the word count. I think what is truly destroying the creativity is the word count and the deadline. As soon as I get a deadline, I freeze up and can't get anything done!

On the plus side of NaNoWriMo, I've never  been dedicated to a story as much as I have with this one. Each time I go and write a story, my creative and non judging self disappears and out comes the critic, the negative Nancy (who've I've started calling Bethany Jones in a super annoying illustration doodle) the editor that says I should give up on writing and illustration because I'm never going to be quite good enough, not with the competition out there. What chance do I have? With this month challenge, I've been able to go past the editor and the critic. I have 15,600 words and that is more than I had about two weeks ago, I should feel accomplished!

I also finished my little red riding hood piece! That is another goal I met for the month, and maybe with the contest piece finished, I will have more room to write.

More Update! and a Useful Article

There was a moment today while I was at work trying to come up with a picture book idea and I said to myself, "It's really hard to think of something creative in a lab environment...wait, did I really just day that? What am I thinking! There are plenty of fun and kooky things to write about in a lab environment!" Then funny enough I grabbed a sticky note and began writing, "It was a dark and gloomy day, a dark and gloomy day for a lab assistant. It was a dark and gloomy day for a lab assistant who is an owl? It was a dark and gloomy day for an owl's lab assistant who just had to come to work and stumble around in the mud because of course it has to be thundering and lightning for this lab project to work...whatever that is."

Out of all that blabbering...I still looped around to Frankenstein. Whoops. I also like owls. Yeah it didn't go well, but that's okay! Maybe it's day will come...

I made it past 12,000 words (12,355 as of now) and if I write at least 1723 words every day this week, I will be caught up.

In the meantime, I've been wondering if I should update my cargo website as it seems pretty dead because I put a lot of my focus to writing this month, or if I should just buy my website instead. My friend in an online critique group posted this article here  about the don'ts when it comes to building your website and making it easy as possible for publishers, art directors, agents, and just pretty much anybody to navigate. Good reminder, maybe I'll work on my website...next month.

Made it Past 10,000 Words (and the start of a color sketch)

I made it over 10,000 words! Yippee!

I'm still very behind though, but I know I can make 50,000 by the end of the month. In the meantime,

I've started color planning the contest piece in photoshop so I can start the oil painting for it tomorrow.

I feel like I've been working on this piece forever, but it's coming along. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend Sean will be happy once I've finished this piece too. (pretty sure he's tired of me going, 'could you look at this one? What about this?' haha) 

Now for today's excerpt:

After a long, grueling math session with the ever-so-boring Mr. Perry who had a pet peeve about electronics and made everyone empty themselves of any such things on his desk to be picked up after class, next was science with Mrs. Rosas and to the misfortune of Mel, Ben was in class with her along with Greg and their friend Devon.

“Meeeeel! Sit with us!” Ben said excitedly as Mel rolled her head back to look at the ceiling.

“Oooooh they made you take your hat off” giggled Gregg as she covered her head with her arms. “Well at least your hair adds height to yah a bit, still short though.”

The classroom was by far the most interesting to look at. Environmental science was the what the class was called and many posters of animals and forests covered the walls. On the shelves looked like animal bones and some other items Mel couldn't quite see.

Mel flew passed Ben, Greg, and Devon were and sat down at a table she noticed the girl with the book on the bus sat. She was still reading then looked up and waved hi. Mel waved back and for the rest of the class time pretended to be preoccupied re-reading the handouts Mrs. Rosas gave out.

The rest of the day went by in a haze. Mel ended with Mrs. Penny’s English class where she promptly handed notes with certain parts highlighted in a color code and encouraged the class to buy color note cards and highlighters for homework and discussion classes for furthering everyone’s organization skills all the while Mel kept thinking, this is going to be a long year.

When Mel got home she found Ari, the babysitter, re-watching the Once Upon a Time episodes on netflix. “Oh hi Mel! Your mom just left and won’t be back until late tonight so I’m watching Lue.”

“Looks like you’re watching netflix” Mel said under her breath as she went straight back to her room. Louie came out of the bathroom just in time to jump scare her and rush into a bout of arguing before slamming the door to her room. She sat her hat back on the corner of her mirror and looked at her own puffy-eyed glare. Having no homework allows her fall face forward onto her bed. She looks out the window, seeing the patch of woods and considered taking another walk to her favorite spot. Lifting herself from the bed, she thought of the last time she was there and plopped her head back down, rolling on her back to stare at the old and worn out glow in the dark stars on her ceiling that somehow have stayed up there for five years, she started to wonder if her dad must have used some kind of super glue for them or something other than the putty that came with, but stopped mid thought and rolled to her side to stare at her closet door slightly ajar. Slowly blinking to a close, Mel dozed off and dreamt of trees growing towards the sky, lifting her and her bag full of stars to super glue to the universe's ceiling.

The Weekend is My Friend

The Weekend is my Friend!

Not only does the weekend give me more time to write and illustrate without silly lab work to get in the way (just kidding, I actually do like being a QC technician) that saying is the PiBoIdMo for the day. Could I get a good story out of it? Perhaps, actually I probably could if I'm creative enough. I might draw something later if I'm not buried in NaNoWriMo word count.

I finally finished the final sketch of Lil' Red, now all I have to do is make an oil painting out of it!

I hope I finish it in time...I think I made a portfolio piece! (...finally)